Long Suffering Wife

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Pissing Me Off

When Shelia Hancock was interviewed about her taking part in Grumpy Old Women she stated her shock and claimed that she had very little in her life which made her angry.

She then filmed the series and managed to rant for a full on six hours about what pisses her off.

So, although usually a calm person I just feel the need to rant about other people and the things they do that piss me off (Not a rant about the wife for a change)
  1. I gave my phone number to someone in Church who has no money and in a weak moment suggested that if he needed to call me just ring twice and I'd call him back. So last night when the phone rang I rang him back to be told the number is invalid. Panicking and thinking that he might be in trouble I carried on trying to contact him.
    When the phone rang next time I picked up to be greeted with a mouth full of abuse regarding my sexuality and preference. THIS IS NOT ON!
  2. I love getting comments on my blog about things that matter to people and their impact on what I've said on mine. So was delighted to have a message from a random person..... until I read the message and realised that he was pressing next blog and leaving the same message to plug for his website and the shit that he was peddling via the blog community. WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR SHARES

OK Rant over!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Painted Pussy

As you probably have grasped by now I live in a "project" and have spent the past twelve months discovering what a pillock the person who lived in my house before me was.

So last night after a hard day in the office I was painting my kitchen, listening to the dulcid tones of the wife as he swore at the DIY (it's starting to have a soothing effect on me). When I finished and collapsed on the sofa to drink my beer and stroke my cat when I realised that not only were my walls "morning sunrise" but also my cat, and the painted trail where her feet have been after the painting tray!

I've now realised that my cat's got a taste for paint. She has decided that she likes to lick it out of the painting tray and off the walls. Is paint bad for cats? Is it because I'm not feeding her properly? or is it because paint tastes great and I haven't realised it yet?

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


We have curtains! For almost a year, since we moved into the house, we have had no curtain in our bedroom. This is not an issue in itself until you realise our bedroom is at the front of the house facing our nosey neighbour and the wife feels the need to get nekid with the lights on in front of the window!

This was part of Operation Tidy House - relating to our house warming/birthday/wedding anniversary party on the weekend.

As usual with DIY tasks it was surrounded with the usual blue haze of f words and general high volume new words for the children next door to learn. Why is this? Why does he have to swear at DIY?

So how did we celebrate having curtains?...... by oversleeping and being highly confused to wake up in darkness.

While trying to tidy our house I've also concluded that:

I hate washing up! It's one of those tasks that as soon as I finish seems to regenerate and double in size from the initial mound that I started with.

Friday, August 19, 2005


Having watched the results coming in yesterday and all the shiney happy 18 year olds talking about the future it reminded me of my A Level exam results.

I got 2 B's and 2 C's (and an A in home ec which I ignore!) and didn't get into the university I wanted to go to.

I can remember being distraught about not being able to go to London to study engineering, and being told by my piano teacher than "Young ladies have a habit of ending up where they are supposed to be". Not the advice that I wanted at the time but better than by Nanny's "Oh well, that's not what you wanted was it?!".

Now eight years down the line I can see exactly what she meant that you do end us where you are supposed to be. I had three fantastic years in Nottingham, made more friends than you can shake a shitty stick at, partied until the cows came home.....

Oh yes, and met the wife (in drag! - but that's another story).

So this blog is dedicated to Kirsty - Who also got B's and C's and didn't get to go to London where she initially wanted to go, but like me is heading to the opposite side of the country from home, to start her student years in the "city of Kulture".

Friday, August 05, 2005


At the age of eighteen I was invincible (like all people!), until I was attacked and broke my hands.

Yet I find myself giving out "old person" advice to one of my friend's who's off to university in September.

So at what point did I stop being a student and start being an "old person"

Was it when I got married?, got a job?, left uni?, got a pension and a mortgage? Or have I always been old and just not realised it?

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Butties (or sandwiches if your posh)

I was obviously asleep while making my cheese and jam (don't knock it until you've tried it) sandwiches this morning as I'm now tucking into jam, cheese and mould sandwiches.

The really sad thing about it is we don't have enough money for me to walk into town to get another sandwich, so I'm stuck eating mould.

If this a bad thing? or will it help my digestive and immunity system?

Monday, August 01, 2005

Weather - Part 2

I had Thursday and Friday off work last week to go to Newcastle and see the tall ships race which supposed to be a relaxing day sitting on the side of the tyne watching the ships leaving port with all their sails up sailing towards Norway.

What it actually was, was me sat in the rain in waterproofs and an umbrella watching a number of ships battling with the weather heading towards the North Sea.

10 of the ships had to turn round that evening and return to Newcastle due to sick crew and broken masts.

Think there should be a public weather warning issued when ever I go on holiday!