Long Suffering Wife

Funny people the welsh

2007-08-29T16:31:00.000+01:00

So being from God's own chosen country I was shocked to here that in a recent survey (by readers digest) that welsh people came last!

Through out my youth I've been used to seeing the welsh at the top of the surveys
1) Cosmo - most likely to be sexually deviant
2) Marie Claire - most likely to have tried most things
3) Zest - most likely to have an STI

so reading that the Welsh are the least funny people in the UK makes me wonder how we manage to attract members of the opposite sex to allow us to be deviant!

and as we seem to be sucessful in the bedroom is there a truth in the fact that funny men just don't get the girls, in a "I'd rather just be friends" kind of way?!

Aspirations and Expectations

2007-07-02T16:04:00.000+01:00

When I think about my children's long term future I think about University education, professional careers and high aspirations to be the best that they could be. Doesn't every parent?

So why do those around me get so excited that their child starting work as soon as they have finished their exams?

Am I middle class?

Babies

2007-06-27T14:36:00.000+01:00

I suppose that having babies is a bit like learning to drive and getting married in so much as you start to get obsessed and are convinced that everyone else is doing the same thing at the same time.

As such I've now started eyeing up all of my friends who are in long term relationships thinking they might also be having babies. Not really helped by the fact that nine of them actually are.

So if you find me looking at your stomach in a "has she eaten too much or is it something else kind of way - sorry!" I'm just nuts.

To quote...........

2007-06-12T15:30:00.000+01:00

Erica Jong,

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. "

Well it is when your tea's on the table when you get home.

Welcome to the house of fun

2007-06-11T12:25:00.000+01:00

A warm long suffering welcome to Girlie Tash to the Long Suffering Hall of Fame.

Tasha and I go back a long way from the days when we spun round on the swings and then tried to walk in a straight line, when I watered her (Like a flower!) and now to old age and marriage.

Badger Love

2007-06-07T10:45:00.001+01:00

As many will remember I've had my obsessions with road kill over the past few months (something to do with driving over 100 miles a day!) .

Yesterday evening there was a badger curled up on the side of the road. He'd obviously been hit and made it as far as he could off the road but no further before curling up and dying.

This morning there was a second dead badger curled over the first one as if in a protective manner, as if hugging it.

This had me thinking, as badgers are also creatures that mate for life,...

if I lost my mate would I consider it a better fate to die with my loved one,
or would I be too distort to even notice the on coming car?

Babies

2007-06-05T11:39:00.000+01:00

It's really starnge going from knowing that you're pregnant and not telling anyone, to being pregnant and the whole world feeling the need to share your experience!

As we've now survived the 1st third and are moving into the glossy hair and clear skin part of pregnancy (Bring it on!) I really should be more excited about the whole idea of being a mum. I suppose that the horror stories and nasties that everyone feels the need to share with us might be keeping us down to earth.

Having seen our sprog on the screen at the scan it's now becoming reality and I think we should be looking forward in a more positive mannor to the birth of our child.

Bestest Song

2007-04-23T15:28:00.000+01:00

In homage to the song by Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip. Here's an amended version of :

Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship Pop Idols, watch the show or discuss it in work the following day.
Thou shalt not take the names of JJ Williams, JPR or Gareth Edwards in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s light blue or pink cover.
Thou shalt not judge a women's looks by her mother.
Thou shalt not buy L'Oriel products.
Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your girlfriend's best friend, take drugs and cheat on her, "because you're on a break!".
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants.
Use it to get into their heads.

Thou shalt not watch The Apprentice.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatles - Were just a band.

Led Zepplin - Just a band.The Beach Boys - Just a band.

The Sex Pistols - Just a band.

The Clash - Just a band.Crass - Just a band.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Just a band.

Nirvana - Just a band.

Oasis - Just a band.

Radiohead - Just a band.

Bloc Party - Just a band.

The Arctic Monkeys - Just a band.

The next big thing - JUST A BAND.
Thou shalt remember that "proper" is not the correct term to describe really good or bad things in your life!

Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.

Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt not complete sentences with the phrase "in it".
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

All go bang!

2007-04-12T17:06:00.000+01:00

This morning I crashed my car on the M1 (see picture!) due to some ejit being unable to break from the mega speed he was travelling at to allow me to get out of his way before he cut the nose off my car.

I'm fine (but thanks for the concern), shame I can't say the same for my vehicle.

Being Fat

2007-03-29T12:24:00.000+01:00

Over the past 8 months I've been on a weight loss programme brought on by a bout of mutual complaining about being fat with a friend while sat in the pub drinking wine and eating baked cheese!

So in September 2006 the same friend and I over ate curry for a week and then joined weight watchers (the curry being so that our weight would fall off in the first week).

So now I find myself in March 50 pounds light and in need of a new wardrobe receiving flattering comments from people I vaguely know and yet my friends who I haven't seen in over 6 months don't notice and don't comment.

This leaves me in a quandary am I still very fat and need to loose more weight or the weight lost wasn't sufficient to make a marked difference!

Football

2007-03-21T15:10:00.000Z

As the wife's noted this weekend was a sports fest (I won't even mention the glorious rugby score!) with him making his first start for the local church team. As a dutiful wife I left the warmth of the pub with the girlies to go and watch him.

Now as the kind of lass that's grown up watching competitive sport and having enjoyed a tussle of two on a rugby pitch, I'm not adverse to a bit of the old persuasion to your players from the touch line.

What I didn't realise is that a welsh accent can be mistaken for swearing when shouting at the top of your voice at your beloved.

As such I spend a good ten minutes explaining that I'd shouted "Come on Wakers, Commit to it" rather than a slightly more offsensive version.

Perhaps I should just feff and jeff at them as I would do at the North East's favourite loosers!

Road Kill

2007-03-06T08:46:00.000Z

Why is road kill fluffy? Why is it that the small creatures that end up under your wheels or on the road flat.

Yesterday I ran over a duck, there was nothing I could do about it and I missed his 8 friends but managed to turn him into a mushy duck and potentially fatally injured his mate who remained curled on the road after I'd passed.

Not only did this make me feel nausious but I also felt I needed to explain how it was an accident to anyone I met during the day and try and justify why I remained a good person and how I couldn't have avoided being a murderer. The sad bit is that my whole memory was tied up with the injured duck and the dilema of should I have reversed and killed him outright rather than let him die in pain on the road.

So feeling very sorry for myself (and the ducks) I drove home last night past the spot there I'd hit them, only to find that there was only one duck remaining in the road (there was no way he was getting up!) .

I told the wife with much delight that the mass murder was actually only a single hit and that as the second duck wasn't there then he must have got up and walked off....

"either that or he was dragged off and eaten by a fox. Sleep tight." replied the wife as he turned off the light to go to sleep.

Thanks for those words of comfort!

Weddings

2007-03-05T13:24:00.000Z

After 8 years together and nearly 4 years living in "marital bliss" (or so he tells me!) the wife and I are now facing those awkward questions from other well minding individuals who feel they need to review our relationship whenever we're out in public!

So after yet another wedding this weekend (and a very nice wedding it was too!) we have jointly and individually fended of the constant stream of "when are you having children?" and worse still "is there a reason why you can't have children?"

Why do people feel that because you're married and don't have children you have some medical issue that causes you not to be able to conceive. Do they never think that you've chosen not to have children at this point in your life and it would mess up your holiday enjoyment and would increase your debt!

Old Friends

2007-02-28T08:44:00.000Z

As the wife has noted, yesterday we said goodbye to a dear loyal friend for the last time.

Thsi car has been instrumental in many of the events of my life in the past 8 years that shes taken my future husband to meet my parents for the first time, taken the two of us back to the homeland, introduced me to the inlaws, and not forgetting the countless friday night trips up the M1 from the south east to see friends, weddings and St James park.

Unlike the wife I feel that letting her go for scrap is a far more dignified end for this friend that to let some spotty learner driver grind her gears, put in a stereo which is worth more than the car, and see if she can do 120 down the A52 (in her hayday, I'm told 100 on the coast road was easy!). So she's gone, never to be driven again.

The Beeb

2007-02-02T11:55:00.000Z

Now don't get me wrong I love auntie. I don't feel that my £131.50 is wasted on any of the quality products that I receive when I switch on the national channels and I think it's a great way to not have to endure the Adverts that polute all the films and shows on the commercial channels.

But...

I do object to being made to endue Dick and Dom on the radio on my way to work in the morning. What was the Beeb thinking! Now the alternatives for early morning breakfast are not good but no one show (not even Mr Moyles!) has made be feel quite so close to writing to the radio to complain about the lack of talent.

Who thought giving the Bogies duo a three hour radio show was a good plan?? Is it because I'm no longer young enough to listen that I feel so enraged or is it "'cause they is crap?"

Holiday, Celebrate

2007-01-30T08:44:00.000Z

Happy New Year! and welcome 2007 (where did 2006 go?)

The long pause of absence on the blog has been due to the wife and I going on sabatical to NZ over the Christmas period. Where a fun filled time was had by all.

Highlights include - paddling a tandum Kayak through the fiords surrounded by dolphins, jet boating, eating more fish than is left in the north sea, and puking spectacularly on the ferry between islands!

Heres to more holidays and time away from the office.

Age

2006-12-07T10:23:00.000Z

I was sat talking to someone in the office who questioned the number of children I had. When I explained that I wasn't old enough to have kids he told me that lots of people "our age" have children.

So this leaves two questions
question 1 - does he think he's the same age as me (late 20's)
question 2 - does he think I'm the same age as him (late 30's)

Either way I feel that I need to get on the Oil of Olay quickly!

Welcome to the cheap seats

2006-11-28T09:24:00.000Z

Ok so it's taken me a while but at long last welcome to the hall of fame/shame to a number of close personal friends and regular contributors to both my life and my sanity.

Bline in the meadows
Not much going on and
Silent word speak loudest

you are the first three (as chosen by our viewers) to be accepted into the long suffering hall of fame. Welcome

It's only f*@king November

2006-11-24T13:09:00.000Z

Ok.. rant on..

The neighbours have decked the house with christmas tinsel,
fa la la la la la la la la
November is not the season to be joly,
fa la la la la la la la la
Down with all this christmas cheer,
fa la la la la la la la la

Now I see the time and place for putting you're flashing Santa on your house and spraying the windows with fake snow. But it's still November!

...rant off.

BMX style skills

2006-11-20T16:13:00.000Z

As part of a scheme to try and get the wife back onto a bike after the "stag do incident" we've been cycling to and from venues, and as a present I purchased him a set of lights so that "it's too dark" can no longer be used as an excuse.

So having returned from the rugby on the weekend we set off back home, a little bit worse for wear when he spots a BMX ramp on the pavement and decides to take it on.....

So off he sets in a wobblying manner at the ramp, reaches the top and proceeds to fall over the edge onto his head! thus smashing the new bike lights, bending the bike and his head.

Why do I bother?!

2006-10-31T13:35:00.000Z

Last night in a harrassed state I put fuel in my car and then winged about how much it cost to fill the tank of the car.

Then I drove home from town (10 miles), this morning I drove to work (60 miles) and then realised that I've put unleaded petrol in my empty diesel car... something that should have stopped the engine before I left the forecourt.

So my car is currently being fixed in the garage and at 8:30 this morning I was the third person that the RAC man came to rescue.

Now that I know the cost I think I would have been better to just drive the car and keep topping it up with diesel until the unleaded was gone!

Me myself and I

2006-10-25T13:46:00.000+01:00

Having very little to do at lunch time I've been following the advice of Dave Gorman and have been looking for me in Google.

As a result I've realised what a busy person I am... I currently..

work as a vet lecturer at Nottingham University
am a realator in Michigan
i've run half marathons (and finished in the top ten)
I'm Canada's expert on Princess Diana

and better than that

I'm Miss Devine for Somerset.

No wonder I'm so tired!

Past It

2006-10-13T12:56:00.000+01:00

That sorry point in my life has now past... and as such I can confirm to those how are wee spring chickens (under 28) that the point at which middle age sets in is 28 and a week.

This morning on my way to work driving down the motorway I switched off Radio 1, due to the constant wingeing of Chris Moyles complaining about being famous (give it a break) and not playing any music, that I have subjected myself to all week, and turned over to Radio 2 to escape!

Not a totally bad thing in itself as a change is as good as a rest and variety is the spice of life, etc...

but

the old age issue occured when I found myself sat in the office looking up what was on the channel on the way home based on the fact that subconsciously I'd already decided that it was radio 2 all the way home.

Therefore in the words of Pete Townshed its too late I can no longer hope to die before I get old. I'm already old and listening to the easy listening on radio 2.

Birthday

2006-10-09T13:15:00.000+01:00

Friday commenced my 28th year on this planet and the slow demise into old age and the ever approaching 3 0 .

But having recently looked on a well known web based encylopedia I realise that I share my birthday with many a famour lovely
Ioan Gruffydd
Gerry Adams (not quite so mysterious now you can hear him!)
Britt Ekland
King Wenseslas.... and to top it all..
Niall Quinn!

Being me's not that bad after all!

Pastures New

2006-09-21T09:10:00.000+01:00

So today is my last day in the office, it's been good times and bad times.

I've found friends, completed by exams, traveled the east midlands......

been told I have a personality deficit, had my promotion overturned and been rollocked for talking to other members of staff.

So off I go to a job I'm not qualified to do, haven't done before and to a very scary boss...

but the car and the payrise should make up for this!